My friend Randall Wagonwheel designed this exquisite and fascinating facebook application where you publish your own haiku!!! It can be straight-of-the-cuff (non-random), or, you can input one in and scramble it all up and create something totally new (random)! It’s fun. Here’s mine….

Getting ready for my trip to Guatemala. Now I’m getting super excited … I might just stay down there forever. I can become a WWOOFer and work on an organic farm. Check this out ….

ARG015
LOCATION : On the coast of the Rio Azul 8 km. in vehicle from El Bolson, Rio Negro
We are a community-in-the-making on 8 hectares along the Rio Azul among the Patagonian Andes. Living off the land by organic low-till manual agricultural and natural building. Composting Toilets. Seed Saving. Food preservation. Solar design. We have fruit trees and grow grains and vegetables. Work with horses, raise cows and chickens, and looking to include bees, aspiring to CSA-model. Experimenting with biodynamics. Need help all year round (except June, July) in garden, animals, building, etc. Encourage music, dance, sharing wisdom, and educating on local current affairs. Mostly vegetarian. Communal cooking. Simple and rustic living. We don’t have electricity. Please write at least one month in advance. SORRY - WE HAVE NO MORE SPACE UNTIL AUGUST 2008

Wow. That sounds like my dream come true. And it gets even better ….

ARG035
City: El Bolson
Province: Rio Negro
Type of property: Organic farm and natural building center
Size (ha): 120
Cultivos: Fruits, vegetables
We speak: Spanish, english & italian
Description: We are an organic Farm, working in natural building sistems. Olso we work with bees,natural water harbing sistems and much more.
We are building a host center with sun shower, dry toilet, public kitchen, passive natural heating sistem and acomodation for 6 persons. Out door kitchen, out door dry toilet. Place for camping.
The hostel will be finish in the begining of january 2009, so it is important to bring until it is finish your tent and sleeping bag.
Accomodation: 6 beds in the host center in a common room, camping site.
We can receive 5 volunteers
Food: We have a cooking team so the food will be organiced for us with your help when it is necessary.
Vegetarian menu, very rich.
We are: We are 3 brothers, Gabriel, Gerardo and Leonardo. Gerardo is married with Paula. They have 2 childrens, Apolo and Lao. In the summer a lot of friends comes to help and enjoy the beauty of the land. We have 4 dogs and 4 cats.
We are developing a comunitary self sustainable eco village. Targeted in natural building, natural growing, renowable energy, art development and natural conscience development.
When to come: We can start receiving volunteers from december 20/ 2008.
We can receive volunteers until May.
Additional comments: Be happy and enjoy the life
Children *we dont have a place to take care of the until now but at the time you can ask

Fruits? Bees? Brothers???? I must be having a midlife crisis.

When my doula client asked me to make her a smoothie out of her placenta after she’d given birth, I was like, ha ha. But she was pretty determined. She said she read something about it preventing postpartum depression?

In her home cookbook binder she even had a tab marked “placenta”. It came after the soups. Her recipe included V8, shredded carrot and “enough ice to make it frothy”. What?!? But I told her I would do whatever I could to help make her birth experience, um, unforgettable.
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I’m going to Guatemala for five months and I’m leaving in June. It’s finally sinking in. Little baby leaving the cozy little nest of New York City to venture out into the big world! Goodbye, parking violations enforcement officers, hello vigilante army! Goodbye strange landlord committing federal offenses in the basement, hello having no bed to sleep in at all! To learn about my new welcoming committee, listen here.

Trying to be budget-conscious, I spent this afternoon google searching my options re: storage and/or moving truck rental. 

SELF STORAGE:
I learned that it costs $124 per month to rent a 5×10x10 space in Queens, NY, and they do NOT require a credit check. Meanwhile, it costs $50 per month to rent a 5×10x10 space in Plymouth, Michigan and you get the second month free.

Regardless of location, the rules are the same: no perishables or pets permitted, no smoking in the facility, and no sub-leasing of storage space as sleeping quarters.

MOVING TRUCK RENTAL:
Whenever I think about U-Hauling, I think of that joke, what do you call 2 lesbians and a U-Haul?

How are you moving?

 

 

 

U-Haul truck only

 

Your vehicle towing a U-Haul trailer

 

 

 

U-Haul truck towing a U-Haul trailer

 

 

U-Haul truck towing your vehicle

 

 

Your vehicle towing your vehicle

It’s kind of like a silly game. Create a set of horrible life circumstances that would warrant need for each of the above illustrated moving solutions. 

I pick #2?

This weekend was awesome! It was such warm weather it almost felt like Spring! To celebrate, we went out for some soul food …

Yum!

Next we went shopping for a “man purse”. Apparently this was something my fella was really excited to find. The words “man purse” made me laugh. I was pretty skeptical.

We went looking at a couple of places, and then went to the Army Surplus. I have to say, the Army Surplus is a little creepy. At the one we went to, they were selling trigger-finger mittens with some mysterious stains.

But then we found this sexy little map holder that was perfectly manly and purselike at the same time:

What do you think?

I’ve been super-stressed lately and trying to calm myself down. I decided to give up coffee, which I think makes me anxious. (Ha!) Some study showed that if you give up your $3.00 daily gourmet coffee beverage in a couple of years you’ll have enough money to buy a house. So I decided to buy a box of tea in hopes of suppressing my relentless urge for Champion Coffee, which is my beacon of light in otherwise dismal Greenpoint. Do I like to drink tea? Not sure. But did anyone ever think they would like chewing tobacco or sipping methadone? Right.

Hmmm. How do I make tea? I can’t remember … I think it involves boiling water, but let’s consult the back panel of the box to be sure.

A Splendid Cup of Tazo Tea: How to Make One

1. Bring some fresh, filtered water to a boil. Ok let’s take a walk into the backyard where I keep my bubbling glacier-fed spring. You assholes. I live in the most toxic neighborhood in the metropolitan area and I’ll be drinking from the tap. Thanks

2. For hot tea, place one Tazo filterbag in your cup, mug or gourd. Um hello, gourd? My brothers and sisters in the Peruvian highlands who pluck their tea leaves straight from the bush would take offense to this. If your stupid tea didn’t cost the equivalent of two adult-sized goats they still wouldn’t drink it.

3. Pour 8 oz of water over the filterbag.

4. Steep for 3 minutes while contemplating your favorite eternal mysteries. 

I am so sick of this regurgitated Eastern philosophical bullshit. Like drinking this tea will possibly make me more calm and reflective?

You know where else they serve Tazo tea, for $2.12 a cup? STARBUCKS. Starbucks “say hello to a new day and then buy yourself a gun and use it on all of us and then yourself” is CHAMPION of the Zen Industrial Complex. Have you been to a Starbucks lately? Starbucks’ clientele are the antithesis of mindful presence. The place is a public disaster area of anxious, overfed, caffeine-fixing tyrannosaurs who are unraveling right before your eyes after someone else’s soy latte comes out before theirs.

It almost feels a little apocalyptic.

There you have it. Say hello to a new day.

Trying to keep abreast of all my nursey things, I was perusing my google reader health blog subscriptions today when I found an article about how to Recession-Proof My Body. Recession-proof my body? What a great idea! I want to continue to maintain healthful goals despite the economic crisis.

However, I innocently clicked on a sidebar and ended up here. Meet my meat?

Oh god! This is NOT what I wanted to see! I am ALREADY A VEGETARIAN! It’s not my fault! I don’t even eat cheese any more! Can you please leave me the hell alone!

Alec Baldwin narrates. How did that happen? Maybe he got in trouble with PETA for his “thoughtless little pig” comment, and as punishment he was required to perform 45 minutes of community service. Anyway, heed my advice: DON’T CLICK ON THE SECOND LINK. Yikes.

This past weekend I got to go to Miami with two of my best buds for a birthday celebration! We had a great time. Mostly just drinking beer on the beach, getting sunburned, eating tasty food, listening to some great jams and visiting the Miami Satellite of my favorite place on earth, The Russian/Turkish Baths!!!
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Despite the haters, I was SUPER excited to hear that Gwyneth Paltrow started her own website to help everyday women like us “nurture our inner aspect”.
(Sorry I’m so late reporting back on this, I’ve been kind of busy. Um, delivering babies????)

I can always take advice from a skinny, blonde, clear skinned woman who smiles compulsively and is married to a member of Cold Play. Right?

All in all, cute jpgs, good tips, nice sig. However, Gwyneth, if you’re reading this, I have a couple of (small) suggestions …

1. I don’t know where my inner aspect is located. Do I need to go to my GYN to figure that out? Because my health insurance just lapsed.

2. Is there anywhere else to GO besides New York, London and Los Angeles? I mean, do you happen to know where to get a good tamale in El Salvador or tasty roasted goat’s head in South Africa? Because we all already know where Babbo is and that they have good food there. Damn.

3. Your book club consisting of your most “literary-minded girlfriends”? Oh, dear Gwyneth, like Christy Turlington ever actually read The Sound and the Fury? And Madonna? I’m pretty sure the only book she ever read was one that had pictures. Of her.

An aside: stop putting your poor innocent son in powder blue crocs. It’s hard enough that the kid is named Moses Martin. Stick to what you’re good at. 

Like wearing dark black eyeliner and chainsmoking in a bathtub …

love, Nurse.

I’ve been reading this book about sushi and was introduced to this incredible animal called the geoduck. It’s also known as “giant clam”, “horse clam” or mirugai. I read all about it in the book before seeing a photo of one. Then I google image-searched, and found this …

and this … (more…)